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Description
The Amateur MarriageFrom the inimitable Anne Tyler, a rich and compelling novel about a mismatched marriage and its consequences, spanning three generations. They seemed like the perfect couple young, good looking, made for each other. The moment Pauline, a stranger to the Polish Eastern Avenue neighborhood of Baltimore (though she lived only twenty minutes away), walked into his mother's grocery store, Michael was smitten. And in the heat of World War II fervor, they
From the inimitable Anne Tyler, a rich and compelling novel about a mismatched marriage--and its consequences, spanning three generations. They seemed like the perfect couple--young, good-looking, made for each other. The moment Pauline, a stranger to the Polish Eastern Avenue neighborhood of Baltimore (though she lived only twenty minutes away), walked into his mother's grocery store, Michael was smitten. And in the heat of World War II fervor, they are propelled into a hasty wedding. But they never should have married. Pauline, impulsive, impractical, tumbles hit-or-miss through life; Michael, plodding, cautious, judgmental, proceeds deliberately. While other young marrieds, equally ignorant at the start, seemed to grow more seasoned, Pauline and Michael remain amateurs. In time their foolish quarrels take their toll. Even when they find themselves, almost thirty years later, loving, instant parents to a little grandson named Pagan, whom they rescue from Haight-Ashbury, they still cannot bridge their deep-rooted differences. Flighty Pauline clings to the notion that the rifts can always be patched. To the unyielding Michael, they become unbearable. From the sound of the cash register in the old grocery to the counterculture jargon of the sixties, from the miniskirts to the multilayered apparel of later years, Anne Tyler captures the evocative nuances of everyday life during these decades with such telling precision that every page brings smiles of recognition. Throughout, as each of the competing voices bears witness, we are drawn ever more fully into the complex entanglements of family life in this wise, embracing, and deeply perceptive novel.Binding Type: Paperback
Publisher: Vintage
Published: 10/26/2004
ISBN: 9780345470614
Pages: 320
Weight: 0.55lbs
Size: 8.10h x 5.26w x 0.69d
Accelerated Reader Quiz #/Name: 79671 / Amateur Marriage
Reading Level: 5.8 / Interest Level: Upper Grade / Point Value: 17
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4.4 ★★★★★
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Refreshing and exciting interpretation of Revelation
Format: Kindle
Revelation had always been a mysterious and scary book to read and this perspective truly brings an optimistic and exciting view of the end times. This book is a must-read for all Christians.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 27, 2016
★★★★★ 5
Hardcover
Format: Paperback
The 5 Love Languages is a timeless relationship book that helps people understand how they naturally give and receive love. The hardcover edition feels elegant, durable, and perfect for keeping on a coffee table or gifting to a spouse, friend, or newlywed couple. The concepts are simple but powerful, making it an easy read with practical advice you can apply immediately in everyday relationships. A meaningful book that many people revisit over the years.
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Reviewed in the United States on May 26, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Practical Tips In Building a Stronger Marriage
Format: Audiobook
I purchased my first copy of “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Gary Chapman in 1992. After spotting him in North Carolina earlier this year, I decided to purchase the audiobook. Not only did I want to listen to Chapman read his book out loud, but I also wanted to digest his work through the lens of older, hopefully wiser, eyes.
In a recent Bible study, someone brought up the verse about flattering lips. I thought this was an excellent segue into one of Chapman’s love languages—words of affirmation. Numerous people feel extraordinarily loved when they are appreciated. The other four primary love languages the author discusses are: gifts, physical touch, quality time, and acts of service.
I especially appreciated Chapman’s chapters on applying the love languages when only one partner is interested in improving the relationship. He offers practical tips, encouragement, and step-by-step examples on how to gather your partner’s complaints, address their frustrations, and show them love, regardless of your or their love language.
One addition I would have appreciated in Chapman’s reference to “Loving the Unlovely” would have been to address a hyper-critical spouse who refuses to offer words of affirmation or positive feedback. Chapman’s technique for improving a marriage relies on the other spouse responding. Regardless, Chapman’s technique has undoubtedly helped hundreds of struggling wives and husbands feel loved and experience a successful marriage.
This classic is an excellent Bible Study resource for small groups, Bible studies, and couples.
If you enjoyed “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,” you may enjoy “For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men” by Shaunti Feldhahn and “For Men Only (Revised and Updated Edition): A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women” by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn.
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Reviewed in the United States on December 29, 2025
★★★★★ 5
Materializing the Intangible Force of Love
Format: Paperback, Format: Paperback
Introduction:
In “The 5 Love Languages”, Gary Chapman displays his masterful understanding of the single factor necessary to create and maintain a healthy relationship – Love.
Through his experience as a counselor, stories from the road and journey as a student, Dr. Chapman has been able to materialize the immaterial force which permeates all marriages and relationships, providing the advice which almost no one can articulate.
Dr. Chapman has found the languages of love itself, “Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.”
What You will Gain:
After reading this book, you will find yourself rapidly improving your relationship with your spouse, children, and family. I the heard enthusiastic, supporting words, “Our relationship has been different over the past week!” after implementing the wisdom from “The 5 Love Languages.”
You will even find yourself watching drama-filled talk shows like “Dr. Phil,” being able to pinpoint each spouse’s love language and how they are not fulfilling it based on their complaints.
It is very enjoyable to wield this skill, but also extremely practical. Instead of criticizing your spouse, you can create the environment to facilitate change, and the best part is, both partners do not have to be on the same page! That’s right,” The 5 Love Languages” work without needing both partners to read, so if you didn’t marry a reader, you’re in luck!
Conclusion:
This was my first dedicated relationship book, and I’m glad it was. “The 5 Love Languages” was not only a quick read, but easy to digest and entertaining. I purchased it for the incredibly low price of $6.86 in new condition (can’t get much better than that, even at a used bookstore).
Based on all the things discussed above, I can easily endorse this book and frankly recommend it to everyone! Even if you’re not married, this book covers relationship dynamics you can apply anywhere.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 27, 2024
★★★★★ 5
Excellent advice on how to improve relationships
Format: Kindle
I've read dozens of books on the psychology of relationships, but this is one of the best and most useful I've ever seen. Gary Chapman's unique concept of "The 5 Love Languages" (Affirmations, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Gifts, and Physical Touch) describes how knowing and using the 5 love languages can improve and deepen loving relationships, while misunderstanding them can cause harm. The information in this book is well-organized, easy to read and understand, and includes lots of stories that are not only interesting, but clearly illustrate the author's point. There is also a self-assessment tool at the end, plus links to additional info online.
Dr. Chapman's basic concept is that "5 love languages" are commonly used in committed relationships to express love and affection toward one's partner. Chapman explains that loving couples can run into trouble if they don't know and understand their own dominant love language or that of their partner. A relationship can thrive if and when each person understands which specific love language is most important to themselves and also knows and honors their partner's most important way of receiving love, which is often different from their own. All 5 of the love languages are equally useful and valid; none are better or more preferred than any other. They simply reflect how an individual's unique needs, expectations, and personality are expressed by the ways they most want to receive love from their partner.
Dr. Chapman devotes a chapter to each of "The 5 Love Languages" using stories from his practice as a licensed Marriage and Family Counselor to show the need for using the correct expressions of love and how using the wrong love language can damage an otherwise good relationship. For example, if a wife's dominant love language is affirmations (including compliments, encouragement, appreciation, and gratitude) but her husband doesn't understand how important these positive words are to her, he might think it's OK to tease her about her looks, accuse her of being lazy, or criticize her cooking. When she needs kind and supportive words but hears insults and put-downs instead, she will feel unloved, no matter what else he does to show he cares. He could surprise her with flowers, hug and kiss her when he comes home, fix the leaky faucet, or offer to take the kids to the park, but still, if he does not give her the words she needs, she will feel unappreciated and unfulfilled. On the other hand, if the husband's dominant love language is spending quality time with his wife, but his wife thinks that taking good care of the house & kids and cooking him a nice meal every night is the best way to show him her love, he will feel resentful and misunderstood. What he needs most is for her to set aside time for listening and sharing with him, for making plans, and spending quality time one-on-one. If she does not understand how important quality time is to him, that will damage their relationship. Having a weekly date night is probably the most important thing this couple could do to improve their marriage.
"The 5 Love Languages" is written specifically for married couples, but the advice could easily be applied to ANY relationship, including family and friends. The author has written other books using the 5 languages concept, such as "The 5 Love Languages" for parents - how to express love to their children and teens. Some kids thrive on physical touch when young, but the kind of touch is likely to change when they become teens. Some kids rely on quality time with one or both parents, while others want more time alone but still need to hear lots of affirmations. I wish I had known about "The 5 Love Languages" when my kids were little, but now that they are grown I can still use what I've learned to improve all my relationships.
Overall, this book is the real deal, both important and useful. I highly recommend "The 5 Love Languages" to anyone wanting to learn how to improve and express love in their relationships.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 21, 2018